gopiraq

Issue #44

Last Update March 2, 2006

International A GOPLander in Iraq by Gert Innsry Our correspondent, veteran of several trips to GOPLand (GOPLand, GOPLand Revisited, GOPLand III) encounters a GOPLand acquaintance on her visit to Iraq. "Well, madame, it's good to see you again. You may not remember me, but I am the Customs inspector that handled your entry in your previous visits to GOPLand. You may be surprised to see me here in Iraq, but GOPLand is a member of the Coalition of the Willing, and I have been seconded here to help the new Iraqi government set up its border controls. I'm sure the United States will find that in trying to instill free-market democracy in Iraq they have no better partner than GOPLand.

Since Iraq achieved full autonomy and the end of the occupation with the handover of sovereignty last week and the escape .... departure of Mr. Bremer, America has fulfilled its obligations and succeeded in its mission. Iraq is run by Iraqis. They have their own prime minister, appointed by the US, it is true, but ratified by genuine Iraqi leaders, or at least those approved by the US as ratifiers. Saddam Hussein has been turned over to the new government for trial; well, not turned over, exactly, but symbolically or virtually turned over.The fact that he is still in American hands is just a technicality.

We expect that elections will be held soon, to complete the democratization process. Well, relatively soon, assuming that martial law is not imposed by the new government. But the occupation is truly over - those 135,000 American troops here indefinitely are not a occupying force. Think of them rather as hired policemen. Yes I know, madam, that hired soldiers are called mercenaries, but these are not really hired. There are no overt payments, although some of the Iraq oil sales money, unaccounted for, may have been used for their expenses. Still, they will leave anytime the new Iraqi government tells them to, unless Rumsfeld says no.

The new Iraqi government is truly a local government. No, the original agreement among the three Iraqi regions is not being followed; the Americans said it was irrelevant and no one has objected except the Kurds, and nobody ever pays any attention to them. Parliament is expected to begin legislating soon, as in any independent nation. No madam, they will sensibly not pass any legislation that the Americans feel compromises Iraqi security or American interests, but otherwise they are free to do as they please. Limiting women's rights would be regrettable, but they are a sovereign people with their own religion and customs; it would be insensitive of us to interfere. Returning oil fields to government ownership is not a matter of sovereign will and local custom; it is an example of the evils practiced by the Saddam regime and is forbidden.

We are trying to train Iraqi troops to deal with the insurgent menace. Perhaps a few of Saddam's generals are just what we need to instill some discipline in the populace.

There is a lot of work to be done here, and we GOPLanders are proud to be part of the Coalition.

How are things at home in GOPLand, Ma'am? Thank you for asking. We have some unrest in GOPLand, mostly caused by terrorists and outside agitators. I'm sure that with the training our security forces are getting from the CIA and American military intelligence, we'll get to the root of the problem in no time. I wouldn't go directly there from here, though, madam; if they label you an enemy combatant, you may never be heard of again."