Issue #37
February 28, 2005
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Food The All-Pastrami Diet by David Katz I have often felt that Woody Allen got it right in "Sleeper". One by one, all of my vices are being sanctified by medical research. Beer, wine and martinis (in moderation) have all been proven to have multiple medical benefits. Jogging has been shown to be harmful, with only some moderate daily walking needed to sustain health and muscle tone. Sex has been upgraded as a promoter of mental and physical well-being (and sperm in the vaginal tract has been identified as an antidepressive for women). And lately, my fantasy of weight loss through an all-pastrami diet looks less ridiculous than it once did. Only cigars have yet to added to the list of things that promote long life.
In a desire to get rid of unsightly midriff bulges and look good in clothes again, and inspired by the major article a few months ago in the New York Time Magazine, I decided to do a high-protein, low-carbohydrate 'Atkins' diet, the closest medically-sanctioned thing to my all-pastrami fantasy.
On the plus side, I have been eating things that for the most part I enjoy (steak, unsweetened whip cream, bacon and eggs, seafood and shellfish, cheese) and haven't gained any weight. In fact, despite doing everything that would be taboo on a normal low-fat, high-carb, low calorie diet, I lost six pounds in three weeks.
On the minus side, a diet that allows pastrami but forbids rye bread is a definite sacrifice. Beer, wine and martinis are definitely missed, especially at restaurants. The biggest problems, though, are the starches that usually round out the meal, and what to drink with food. I have never been a proponent of artificial sweeteners and diet sodas (although I have made an exception for diet Cel-Ray during this experiment), but man cannot live on iced tea and decaf coffee alone. As for starches, a salad (which I normally consider a waste of stomach-room) is no substitute. Lunches become more difficult when sandwiches and wraps are verboten due to the bread,
All in all, though, it has not been much of a strain to have lobster and salad as the main course and a cheese plate for desert. Or a mixed grill, with spinach and asparagus. Or a hamburger (no bun, no ketchup) and cole slaw, with a side of cucumbers and raw peppers.
I don't plan to live like this forever, of course. Pasta will reappear in my life one day, as will martinis, but in the meantime, my all-pastrami diet is a painless way to get my clothes to fit again.
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